


Promises

by miekelele



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Fix-It: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Justice for Chakotay, Justice for Seven I guess, Justice for all of them, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Post-Canon, and also for Kathryn, kind of, the Admiral clearly had issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28363758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miekelele/pseuds/miekelele
Summary: For years he had planned to kiss her as soon as earth was in sight. Things have changed. Time for Chakotay and Kathryn to have the talk. J/C
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 27
Kudos: 89





	Promises

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I hope you all had wonderful holidays if you celebrate them. This is another short fic of mine I did translate (which means if there are things to improve please feel free to tell me, this should be enjoyable for all of us and not insufferable because my spelling/grammar/whatsoever is soo bad). The prompt a friend gave me for this was 'Justice for Chakotay' ... so well, he's not going to end up with seven and I'll tell you that one for free. 
> 
> Show and characters are not mine but the story is. And I hope you like it! Have a wonderful day, evening, morning, night - wherever you are in the world. :-)

Hearing the door signal, Kathryn didn't even have to turn around to know who would be standing there. She knew him by his stride, by the length of the signal, and even by the way he breathed before he spoke.

"Do you have a minute?"

Kathryn turned away from the boxes she was packing to look at her first officer. He was standing there, a little uncertain, fingering his earlobe with his right hand.

"Good morning, Commander. And yes, I do have a moment."

He glanced up, caught her gaze, and appeared uncertain what to say. And she was uncertain too. The last few days had been utterly insane. Two mornings ago, she had not expected to be able to look out of her window and see earth. Packing the last seven years of her life into neatly labelled boxes. And even though they had often relied on helping each other process such matters over the last few years, it was now, of all times, that they hadn't had time to do so. And maybe she had been avoiding him a little. Just a tiny bit.

"For five years I have been determined to kiss you as soon as earth is in sight," he said suddenly. Oh, it was typical Chakotay. He knew he didn't even need to start beating around the bush for her. That didn't mean she sometimes wouldn't wish he had. Right now, for example. This confession was rather surprising after all.

The sense of missed opportunities greeted her like an old friend. Wrapped his hand around her neck and almost cut off her breath. She put the book she had been holding in the box before her and was finally brave enough to look up. Chakotay observed her as if she were a wild animal. Almost fearful, as if he didn't know if she might jump on him and tear him apart at any moment. And, if she was honest, she didn't know that herself.

"What stopped you?" she inquired without a sound in her voice.

He gave a smirk. "You said 'Mr. Chakotay, take the helm' and I follow my Captain's orders".

She frowned. The instant she had laid eyes on earth, she had turned to look to her left. He had not been standing there. Rather, he had been standing next to Seven, not giving her a glance. She had needed him. On the other hand, over the past few years, how often had he needed her? And how often was he forced to take a back seat?

"Earth is still in sight"

"And everything has changed"

She looked up. Apparently, this was the very moment they were going to talk about it.

"What did the Admiral say to you?" he finally asked when she had not said another word. Kathryn pondered this. The Admiral had said a lot, in fact almost too much. If she was honest - she was grateful to be the only Kathryn Janeway on the ship again. She had come to hate her older self. What with all the bad news she'd been delivering.

"You never were the same after she died" she whispered. He gave a nod of understanding, as if he had been expecting it and preparing himself for just this case.

"I have to explain this, Kathryn," he began reluctantly, and without further ado sat down on the couch in her slowly emptying ready room.

Kathryn replicated a cup of coffee for herself as well as a cup of tea for him. Hesitantly, she looked at her sitting corner and finally took the armchair. Absently, she pushed the tea towards him. He thankfully nodded. "You don't have to explain anything to me. I don't own you. You had to move on eventually," she murmured.

Chakotay looked almost angry, and he really became so as he banged his hand on the table in front of him, looking at her forcefully. "Kathryn, many years ago a man promised you he would wait for you. And I have changed, but I am still the same man deep down. You didn't want it, but there I was promising you I'd wait for ever. And I broke that promise"

She lifted her hand, willing hers to rest on his fist and tell him it wasn't a big deal. But she was not going to lie. She had never wanted that promise. Yet on countless days, his words were all that kept her fighting. And with him breaking his promise, a part of her had been broken.

"What made you want to stay? That was Stoic and stubborn, incorrigible and naïve. No one can really blame you. Least of all me."

They remained silent for a while, well aware that they actually wanted the same thing after all. However, broken pride, broken promises, and the feeling of somehow having missed out on the happiest years of their life together still prevailed. Without any possibility of regaining them.

"What she told you may have been her truth. Still, I think she lied to us," he eventually said. Looking up in surprise, Kathryn raised an eyebrow. Her older self had been many things: unpleasant, self-righteous, and deeply broken - but she wouldn't have considered her a liar.

"I can only tell you how I feel here and now. It’s not Seven's loss that would destroy me. In fact, it would be yours. It may be that Seven and I have eventually grown together through the years. But neither of us has any idea what happened to the two of us in the Admiral's timeline. We really don't know what happened. Yes, I had two dates with Seven and it was sweet, yet also wrong because the whole time I could just think about the one that wasn't with me. And Seven also knows that. All right, so be mad at me or anything, but please don't believe the Admiral that Seven is the woman whose death or separation would be killing me. You are. In fact, I think she came here to save us from all the mistakes we must have made for it to have come this far."

He was on his feet by now, ready to be thrown out of the room by the Captain rather than Kathryn. Just as she had always done over the years whenever he spoke something she couldn't bear to hear. Dirty truths, painful truths.

And it was on the tip of her tongue. 'Dismissed' was such an easy word, such an easy command. It was possible to put into that one word every loathing one could feel for oneself rather than for the person opposite. And she was going to say it because she couldn't bear it. All these nasty truths. Except she couldn't bring herself to say it. As though the time for dismissing was over. As though the time for staying had arrived. She rose and approached him, looking at him closely.

Chakotay - like her - had grown older over the past years. He was still more handsome than was good for him - but older. With wrinkles and grey hair and so much concern in his eyes. And for all that, so much more at peace than he had been seven years ago.

"Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" she asked him now. He furrowed his brow as though not quite understanding what she was getting at. "When we return home, it's going to be an awful lot of work to try and rebuild me, Chakotay. I'm a mentally fucked up woman. I will constantly have to go to therapy, screaming or crying all the time. I no longer sleep without experiencing nightmares, I get anxiety attacks when things are too quiet. I am a mess. The last seven years have destroyed me to the core. Why on earth would you want that? Oh, you made that promise to another woman, Chakotay."

And perhaps he did deserve the young, beautiful woman. Sure, Seven had her problems too, but things were starting to improve for her. Seven was over the worst of it, her future would be much brighter. Whereas for Kathryn, she was sure her future was going to be difficult. Difficult and painful and how much of a future was that anyway? She was seven years older. She had left this planet as a fairly young woman. And here she was, years older.

Chakotay raised his hand and placed it against her cheek, smiling. She shut her eyes, enjoying this small and yet so tender gesture. "Another man made a promise to another woman. Well, then, a new man should make a new promise to a new woman," he whispered tenderly now. Taking another step closer he took her face in both his hands. 

"I can still see her under there, Kathryn. I can see her and I can see you and there is no difference to me. No matter what is to come: I will not leave you to face it alone. And it will be as it has been for the last few years: I will be with you. Should you need to shout at someone, I'll be there. If you need to be held by someone, I'll be there as well."

Kathryn only felt the tears once they were already running down her cheeks onto his hands. His smile widened. And she had trouble believing it. Couldn't believe he was still there. And would remain so. Yet he still made it all about how she felt. And she didn't believe she earned it. But at least she had come to believe the Admiral had not been telling the whole truth. And all of a sudden, she saw the in-betweens. And all of a sudden, the glances that Admiral Janeway shot at Chakotay made more sense, too.

"Tuvok to Chakotay. Please report to the bridge."

"Understood," Chakotay grumbled with disappointment, giving her a lingering glance. He finally added, quietly addressing her, "Reconsider, Kathryn. You know where to find me"

Well, her answer was set the moment he was gone. She missed him. And she regretted all the things that she had left unsaid. So, she decided enough was enough. For seven years he had made his needs second to hers. It was time she did the same now. Straightening up, she wiped the tears from her cheek and checked her watch. They would dock in three hours time and Voyager's chaos would really begin. They would have debriefings, likely for weeks. They would hardly be able to spend time together. Quarantine would be necessary. Not to mention the whole reunion business. Quiet times, the closeness of their Voyager family would be gone in three hours and so Kathryn made a decision. The time had come for her to make promises.

As straight and captainly as she could, she exited her ready room and stepped onto the bridge. Tuvok was there, so was Harry, as well as Seven. A brief moment of doubt crept into her mind as she looked upon the younger woman, which she quickly put aside. She was doing the right thing. Tom and B'Elanna were still in sickbay with their little one and she almost felt sorry that Tom was not going to see this. Oh well. If she did her job right, he would be told immediately everything he had missed on the bridge.

Looking at her, Chakotay cocked an eyebrow. "Captain."

She stopped at the top of the bridge and pointed to the viewscreen in front of them. "What do we see in front of us, Commander?" she now asked seriously. He frowned and appeared to briefly consider the possibility of her mental state worsening so severely in so little time. Eventually he twitched his shoulders.

"Earth, Captain."

Kathryn stepped down those few steps and continued walking until she was standing right in front of him. He appeared confused, not entirely sure what she was trying to achieve. She eventually smiled and saw a brief moment of relief in his eyes.

"Correct, Commander. As for me, this thing I’m going to do now is something I've been wanting to do for years"

Perfectly aware of the prying eyes resting on her, she reached up, wrapped her hands around Chakotay's neck and gently pulled him into a kiss.

He gasped briefly, but very quickly caught himself. Instantly his arms wrapped around her waist, his hands firmly on her back. She enjoyed both the pressure and the knowledge that it was him holding her. Swiftly, he not only responded to the kiss, but intensified it. With his tongue gently brushing her lips, she broke off their very first kiss, breathing heavily but grinning.

"Tom will be mad you didn't wait for him, Captain," Harry commented with amusement. Kathryn turned to look from Chakotay, who was looking at her like she was the only person in the universe, to Harry, smirking like the confident young man he has become.

"Don't you worry. I intend to do this more frequently starting now," she looked back at Chakotay, whose lips were slightly parted, and added, quietly enough that only he could hear, "I promise."


End file.
